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Hilarious reviews on the net

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  • Hilarious reviews on the net

    Some people are pretty funny. Anyone ever come across some funny reviews on the net?

    Here's a couple good ones:

    1) Pretty much anything written on this product. But my fave is "Epic all-situation survivor's kit"

    2) This review is from: Chemi-Pure Aquarium Filter Media - 10 oz. (Misc.)
    If you are looking for a bag of filter media that does exactly what it is supposed to do, look no farther. I believe you can use this stuff in either fresh or saltwater aquariums and it is desinged to rid the water of harmful organic waste material. Like all living things, fish dont like an over ubundance of poo or urine in their home. Enough waste with time will cause amonia levels to become lethal in your aquarium.

    I learned all of these little tid bits about filtering fish tanks by a weird sort of coincidence. See, I don't own a pet fish, I have never owned a pet fish, and I will never own a pet fish. I don't get the desire some people have to keep a fish in their home so they can see it all the time. I believe that it probably stems from some sort of internal desire to have companionship for those people who know that they are too pathedic, ugly, or both to ever have any sort of human companionship. Either way, I would imagine that if you profiled all of the serial killers and pedaphiles for the past thirty years, you would find that an abnormal number of the convicted had pet fish, and the most successful ones probably used the chemi pure in the aquariums. I came across this product after I was busted by the five-o for smoking reefers. I was put on house arrest and probation and had to submit random urine samples at the laws leisure. Well, about a week into it I found myself with a hot little spanish enchilada and about two ounces of some of the sticky, icky, icky...if you know what I'm screaming. Well, I should have held my ground but, I didn't. My number got called and I had to submit a sample that I knew would come up dirty. I came across this stuff when my buddy brought it to my house and told me to drink it like a tea. I did just that, hot water and I let this stuff steep in the water for twenty minutes. The "tea" was the color of crude oil and tasted something awful. I took it like a champ though and went to provide my sample with the up most confidence. Later that day I was detained and sent to county for violating the condition. The only problem with having friends that are bigger heads than you, is the fact that they will lead you astray. Lond story short, this stuff is for fish water, it is not a human system cleanser. Not by a long shot.

  • #2
    Just read the 'Comments'.
    "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me, it's a full time job."
    Lt. Bromhead to Prince Dabulamanzi before the Battle of Rorke's Drift.


    • #3
      Those are excellent.

      As a reformed member of the Vietcong and survivor of numerous F4 Phantom Napalm strikes, I can say with confidence that the Yanks used the wrong ingredients for their incendiary devices.

      I applied a small dab of this product onto my gentleman's sphericals and the searing pain was immediate, intense and will cause me flashbacks for the rest of my life. My poor swollen glands now have a blue hue and I fear they will never recover.

      Had Colonel Kilgore and his dogs used this against my brave communist brothers we would have surrendered immediately


      • #4
        Oh gods my ribs hurt!!!
        Sitting in the barber's chair, waiting for a haircut that will never come...