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  • #16
    You're not rubbing goose fat on me I'm vegetarian !
    "I lOVE your attitude Wag - painting for the hell of it, because you want to - one of the best things I did was invite you over here as to me you invoke the wamp spirit perfectly." - thankyou DL !

    "...you've done things with Blood Bowl Orcs that I wouldn't have thought possible. Certainly wouldn't have thought they were sensible!..." - Lobo, Iron Painter 8 competition

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    • #17
      Aries : March 21st - April 20th - vending machines will feature heavily in your forthcoming week, some of them favourably and some of them very much the opposite. Don't allow them to rule your life, because that's not a road you want to go down, believe me.

      Taurus : April 21st - May 21st - the next week will be full of confusion for Taureans as they will be completely unable to recognise their own body parts. This can cause terrible embarrassment at public changing rooms if the unfortunate sufferer finds themself trying to dress other people.

      Gemini : May 22nd - June 21st - being of a musical disposition, you will find yourself compelled to harmonise gently with someone whenever possible. It matters not whether they are singing or not, you will still feel the need to blend beautifully with them in angelic song.

      Cancer : June 22nd - July 22nd - your usual sense of superiority may get out of hand this week as you seek to gain a height advantage via trees, lamposts and bookshelves over lesser mortals. As you hurl insults and, sadly, faeces at them just remember you will have to come down at some point.

      Leo : July 23rd - August 22nd - it has often been said that you can never have too many nipples, but your obsession with these buttons of delight will land you in hot water this week when you are discovered in a sty pretending to be a piglet. I have no sympathy, you sicko.

      Virgo : August 23rd - September 23rd - this week your stars favour abandoning washing with water in favour of scraping your skin with oil in the style of ancient Greece. If others don't appreciate your greasy skin and pungent olive stench that's their problem.

      Libra : September 24th - October 23rd - eventually your hard work in genetic research has paid off this week as you develop the abilites of a random marsupial. Now the raw power of a koala could be yours as you sit motionless for hours at a time desperately trying to metabolish eucalyptus leaves.

      Scorpio : October 24th - November 22nd - a savage row will occur at some time this week as a room full of people foolishly disagree with you about a minor point of renaissance fashion. The brutality of their demise should serve as a warning to anyone else who thinks of crossing you.

      Sagittarius : November 23rd - December 21st - love is in the air for you this week as everyone within a ten mile radius become madly infatuated with you. This could be a wonderful or an extremely dangerous situation for you, or perhaps both, so it's best to be prepared.

      Capricorn : December 23rd - January 20th - you will get bad news this week as you discover that the wonderful monkey tail you thought you were growing is in fact an enormous furry tapeworm.

      Aquarius : January 21st - February 19th - the gravitational pull of the planets this week will result in period phases of you becoming lighter than air. This will be lots of fun if you are indoors, but can be disastrous if there isn't a roof above your head. Perhaps it's advisable to keep a very heavy dog on a lead with you over the next seven days.

      Pisces : February 20th - March 20th - it's the traditional week of body painting for Pisceans and work will be suspended as they all indulge in a Bacchanalian orgy of skin colouration and ill advised tattoos.
      "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me, it's a full time job."
      Lt. Bromhead to Prince Dabulamanzi before the Battle of Rorke's Drift.

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      • #18
        Pisces : February 20th - March 20th - it's the traditional week of body painting for Pisceans and work will be suspended as they all indulge in a Bacchanalian orgy of skin colouration and ill advised tattoos.

        Sounds like one of my normal painting sessions...
        "I lOVE your attitude Wag - painting for the hell of it, because you want to - one of the best things I did was invite you over here as to me you invoke the wamp spirit perfectly." - thankyou DL !

        "...you've done things with Blood Bowl Orcs that I wouldn't have thought possible. Certainly wouldn't have thought they were sensible!..." - Lobo, Iron Painter 8 competition

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by waghorn41 View Post
          Pisces : February 20th - March 20th - it's the traditional week of body painting for Pisceans and work will be suspended as they all indulge in a Bacchanalian orgy of skin colouration and ill advised tattoos.

          Sounds like one of my normal painting sessions...
          why do you get all good the stuff o.O
          Last edited by wiccanpony; 16-04-2012, 12:35 am.
          Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says " oh crap....she's awake!~

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          • #20
            Aries : March 21st - April 20th - this is very much an inbetween week for you, nothing will happen to you and no-one will care about anything you try to do. You may as well not bother.

            Taurus : April 21st - May 21st - a strange buzzing sensation in your scalp will lead to you asking someone else to check it out for you, resulting in them discovering a spyware chip under the skin installed by your hairdresser. This has been monitoring what brand of shampoo you use and how often you use it, as well as your political preferences and erotic dreams.

            Gemini : May 22nd - June 21st - whilst searching for a cool new look you will try out a 'West Side Story' make-over, complete with finger clicking and dance-prowling back and forth dressed in leather. Whilst this may not be helpful in your career progression it will get you plenty of attention, so every cloud ...

            Cancer : June 22nd - July 22nd - this week you will find it hard to believe that your friends and family are not giant lizard-like aliens hiding inside humanoid skins. Trying to force-feed them guinea pigs will not help them to sensitively understand your paranoia.

            Leo : July 23rd - August 22nd - attempts to form a one-man band this week will be spoiled by your insistence that the instruments all be trumpets.

            Virgo : August 23rd - September 23rd - no matter what choices you make this week, on Saturday morning you will wake up in the middle of an ice rink, with absolutely no recollection of how you got there.

            Libra : September 24th - October 23rd - I realise it can confusing to separate reality from fiction, but just because you see the same people at work two days running, it does not mean you are having a 'Groundhog Day', so don't try to punch random people, drive off a cliff or seduce scrawny-looking bad actresses.

            Scorpio : October 24th - November 22nd - it is a bad time for Scorpions to encounter cutlery this week, so avoid it if possible. Just ignore the stares of others and remember that your safety is more important than their selfish notion of 'table manners'.

            Sagittarius : November 23rd - December 21st - a mysterious travelling man will trade you some suspicious looking beans for your cow this week. When you get home, your mother will hurl them into the garden in disgust, only to awake next day in astonishment as they grow into an enormous beanstalk. By climbing up this cloud-piercing tree you will be able to steal a giant's treasure and murder its rightful owner, before waking up in 'Intensive Care' to a sympathetic nurse explaining how they have managed to remove most of the beans' toxins from your system during your coma, but you must expect the odd flashback from time to time.

            Capricorn : December 23rd - January 20th - it transpires that the tapeworm you discovered last week has stolen your identity and is now trying to have you legally evicted from your own home. The only way to stop this is to crawl up its anus, steal its identity and turn the tables.

            Aquarius : January 21st - February 19th - you will be considering replacing your eyes this week with those of an unwilling animal donor. Should you go for eagle eyes for the superior vision? Tiger eyes for their seductive qualities? Or goat eyes just to freak people out? Or do you go for the hardest prey of them all ... dare you cross that line? Dare you? Dare you?

            Pisces : February 20th - March 20th - an unfortunate administrative error will result in several wedding parties turning up at your house this week demanding to hold their receptions there. The choice is yours as to whether you greatly inconvenience yourself making vol-au-vents for eighty so as not to spoil their big day, or just barricade the door and defend yourself as best you can with the contents of the toolbox.
            "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me, it's a full time job."
            Lt. Bromhead to Prince Dabulamanzi before the Battle of Rorke's Drift.

            Comment


            • #21
              Lol, checking for brain chips now!
              The WAMP Wiki - A community driven repository aimed at the whole miniature painting community. Contributions can be made directly in the Wiki or by contacting the admin team here .
              Full Metal Dragon - A miniature/wargame/RPG/general entertainment business.
              My WIP Thread with a little bit of everything in it.
              Mini's painted in 2014: 0 / In progress - 5 (2 gaming mini's, 3 display mini's)

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              • #22
                sorry, our new guinea pig is off the menu
                Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says " oh crap....she's awake!~

                Comment


                • #23
                  Aries : March 21st - April 20th - an infestation of woodlice over your entire body will leave you confused and embrassed this week. Eventually you'll peel back the underwear you haven't taken off in four months to reveal a few dozen nests of them. Dirty, that's what you are, dirty.

                  Taurus : April 21st - May 21st - an apple a day keeps the doctor away, especially if you hurl it directly in the doctor's face as they stand on your doorstep.

                  Gemini : May 22nd - June 21st - you'll have an odd urge to dye all your clothes Prussian Blue this week, which you will almost certainly regret next week.

                  Cancer : June 22nd - July 22nd - with Neptune exerting a considerable influence on you this week you will be subject to excessive drooling. At night this will mean having to sleep on extra absorbant pillows to avoid slipping around in a pool of slime, but during the day you may need to wear a bib or perhaps even have a tube fitted under your tongue to suck it all away.

                  Leo : July 23rd - August 22nd - this week you will realise you are the pinnacle of creative evolution and try to persuade others to accept this reality in as dignified a way as possible. There is no guarantee they will fully understand however, which just proves their inferiority.

                  Virgo : August 23rd - September 23rd - this week a pleasant cup of coffee with friends will swiftly spiral out of control into a full-on orgy, followed by an impromptu jam session and Tupperware* party.

                  Libra : September 24th - October 23rd - around Wednesday you are quite likely to confuse yourself for a Dickensian character and could very well be found talking in an outrageously bad cockney accent, collecting pre-pubescent children from the street and teaching them to steal. Permission is given to copy this page for the purposes of giving evidence in a Magistrate's Court.

                  Scorpio : October 24th - November 22nd - you have come to the conclusion that one more oblique reference to the London Olympics, one more advertisement using athletes to advertise deodorant, one more inappropriate use of Spandau Ballet's 'Gold' and you are just going to vomit yourself to death.

                  Sagittarius : November 23rd - December 21st - tall buildings will worry and anger you this week when you realise that God did not intend for houses to have more than three storeys, tops, and even then the third storey should only be a converted attic with one of those angled windows in the roof.

                  Capricorn : December 23rd - January 20th - all this week you will talk like Ike Godsey, the shopkeeper from 'The Waltons', in an odd low-pitched honking voice.

                  Aquarius : January 21st - February 19th - a close relative will send you a note saying that you smell like smelly cheese, pass it on. The choice is yours whether to indeed pass it on or return the note saying "I know you are, I said you are, but what am I?"

                  Pisces : February 20th - March 20th - budget cuts in your imagination result in your dreams all taking place in a small car park behind a family run furniture store. Apart from you, only customers of the store will be appearing in your dreams and even then they'll probably be too busy to do much other than exchange the odd pleasantry or ask for your help getting a faux leather lazy boy chair into a Renault Clio.



                  *Other plastic tubs that make farty noises when you put the lid on are available.
                  "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me, it's a full time job."
                  Lt. Bromhead to Prince Dabulamanzi before the Battle of Rorke's Drift.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Aries : March 21st - April 20th - Fish will avoid you this week.

                    Taurus : April 21st - May 21st - If music be the food of love, then why not make yourself an egg banjo?

                    Gemini : May 22nd - June 21st - this week is a good time for rooting around under cushions and down the back of the sofa ... not for money, but to gather up all the crumbs and make a delicious cake. Yum, decay.

                    Cancer : June 22nd - July 22nd - in the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king, but a deaf bloke is Prime Minister and for some reason, Harpo Marx is a High Court Judge. So I'm pretty sure it means that this week, make sure no-one pokes out one of your eyes.

                    Leo : July 23rd - August 22nd - the sound of silence is overrated, so it is a good idea this week to fill any moment when you are not actually speaking, with a low humming noise.

                    Virgo : August 23rd - September 23rd - this week, if you look into a coffee mug to see the reflection of your eye, instead you will be witness to a short reel of black and white film showing a man with a big moustache tying a girl in her underwear to a railroad track.

                    Libra : September 24th - October 23rd - from Wednesday to Friday inclusive, every time you speak to someone you should end each sentence with a cheeky wink and say, "Know what I mean?"

                    Scorpio : October 24th - November 22nd - this week you will change your name to 'Bobby Shafto', before running away to sea and wearing silver buckles on your knees.

                    Sagittarius : November 23rd - December 21st - sleep will be hard to come by this week as you are convinced that your socks sneak out of the drawer at night and perform a mime version of 'Annie' for the benefit of the contents of your wardrobe.

                    Capricorn : December 23rd - January 20th - your shoes will be objects of intense fascination to you this week, so be prepared for plenty of minor accidents as you blunder your way around staring at your feet.

                    Aquarius : January 21st - February 19th - you will waste a large sum of money this week, attempting to sue Steven Spielberg for the blatant theft of your intellectual property with the movie 'E.T.'. Only much later will you realise that you only thought of the story after you had seen the film.

                    Pisces : February 20th - March 20th - a man called Derek will ask you if he can have his cat back this week. You'll know him, he smells of catfood. It's probably best to give him some cat or other, because he won't leave you alone until you do.
                    "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me, it's a full time job."
                    Lt. Bromhead to Prince Dabulamanzi before the Battle of Rorke's Drift.

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