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Thread: Laugh

      
   
  1. #41

    Wamp Incarnate
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    haha if it wasnt so relevant if wouldnt be as funny
    Available for Commissions Like my Facebook Page: Brett Johnson Designs

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  2. #42

    Wamp Guru
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    A bit like the sytem I use
    "I lOVE your attitude Wag - painting for the hell of it, because you want to - one of the best things I did was invite you over here as to me you invoke the wamp spirit perfectly." - thankyou DL !

    "...you've done things with Blood Bowl Orcs that I wouldn't have thought possible. Certainly wouldn't have thought they were sensible!..." - Lobo, Iron Painter 8 competition

  3. #43
    Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high
    school diploma to fix one.

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe
    Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.. The
    mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and
    then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that Aussie ground crews lack a sense of humour.
    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
    (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
    maintenance engineers.

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had
    an accident.


    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny............
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
    pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    Purportedly all true

  4. #44
    Enlightened Wamp Boris's Avatar
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    They always make me smile.
    "Resin...I think I just threw up a little" - ARG
    I have not bought a miniature since Nov 2010.

  5. #45
    Enlightened Wamp warhammergrimace's Avatar
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    Ok, thought I'd share some insights from the young lads I teach, all of these are genuine;

    In a discussion about climate change, one said, "we need to control the population on the UK, because if more and more people are born here or come from other countries then this country will start to sink and flood."

    In a debate regarding climate change another said; "if there was another Ice Age, the young people would survive, because they would round up all the cows, store them under ground to live on, the cows would be feed on artificial food such as Chicken Nuggets."

    In a discussion on the financial crisis, a lad said, "the current money problems and bank crashes has been caused by foreigners coming over here to England and stealing all the jobs".

    More will be posted soon......
    Awards:
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    Ryan Dancey, Vice President of Wizards of the Coast, believed that TSR failed because of "...a near total inability to listen to its customers, hear what they were saying, and make changes to make those customers happy."

  6. #46

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    @ vern
    love the quantas ones, reminds me of when I was an aircraft mechanic in the RAF.

    btw do you all know what quantas stands for?

    No, NOT Queensland And Northern Territories Airs Service

    but really..........

    Queers And Nymphomaniacs Take All Seats
    "I lOVE your attitude Wag - painting for the hell of it, because you want to - one of the best things I did was invite you over here as to me you invoke the wamp spirit perfectly." - thankyou DL !

    "...you've done things with Blood Bowl Orcs that I wouldn't have thought possible. Certainly wouldn't have thought they were sensible!..." - Lobo, Iron Painter 8 competition

  7. #47

    Wamp Incarnate
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    @ Vern - was feeling a bit **** today but that really cheered me up - anymore of those they are brilliant
    Available for Commissions Like my Facebook Page: Brett Johnson Designs

    Shop at the Wampstore Wamp Corporate

  8. #48
    Wamp Guru Hinton's Avatar
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    @vern: those are hilarious. My favorite one has to be:

    Quote Originally Posted by Vern
    P: Aircraft handles funny............
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

  9. #49

    Wamp Incarnate
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    i like the mouse one and the midget
    Available for Commissions Like my Facebook Page: Brett Johnson Designs

    Shop at the Wampstore Wamp Corporate

  10. #50

    Wamp Incarnate
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    but the 3rd engines best
    Available for Commissions Like my Facebook Page: Brett Johnson Designs

    Shop at the Wampstore Wamp Corporate

 

 
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