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Random Geek Moments

Getting back into the swing of things

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...it's harder than I originally thought.

For those that didn't know, a while back I was doing videos with news about miniatures and gaming, as well as the occasional review of various products related to the hobby. For certain reasons, I had to step back from everything for a while; several months, as it turned out.

But once things settled down a bit, I drifted back over to WaMP as I really missed the forums and the people here. One thing that I've been asked is if/when I'll start doing videos again. I've sat down and worked on a few things, but I find it difficult to get back to the mindset I had when I was doing them. Maybe it's because it's been so long since I've sat down in front of the camera; maybe it's due to me wondering if they're even needed or relevant.

I did try tonight. I set up the camera, got the lights positioned, started recording and sat down. But as I sat there, I just couldn't get into it. Everything felt wooden and out of place. I felt uncomfortable; the lights seemed brighter than before; a running commentary in my head kept telling me that I was wasting my time, that it had been too long. When it reached the point where I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin, I shut it all down and sat there wondering what was going on.

I love the hobby of painting miniatures and enjoy talking about it. Doing the news and reviews is a way for me to share my passion with others; to pass along information that people might have missed. Or, at the very least, offer up my opinion (no matter how much it might differ from the opinions of others).

Part of the problem seems to stem from the fact that the whole 'angry geek' thing has been done to death; it felt forced when I was trying to do it tonight. Heck, it seems like every reviewer of any thing geeky out there is angry. Not that the videos need to be full of happy feelings and warm fuzzies, but ranting and raving to the heavens - and anyone else that will watch, listen or read - has become hackneyed. I guess that's what attracts viewers and readers: someone bursting a blood vessel over the littlest thing.

It just feels like I'm outside looking in. Nothing really new there (had that feeling since I was a kid), but it just seems more pronounced right now. And I don't mean here; I mean everywhere. Like I'm disconnected, you know? I'm here, but I'm not. I don't know; it's weird.

Maybe something inside me changed in the past three months more than I thought.

I just don't know.
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Comments

  1. exilesjjb's Avatar
    Put the Geek to bed, just do what you feel right doing. When all is said and done this is a hobby you should have fun doing it or what is the point.
    Peace James (the ninja poster )
  2. Ulfgrimr's Avatar
    James is right, do what you feel comfortable with, your passion will come through in whatever you do.
  3. Shades's Avatar
    You produced the videos at the pinnacle of a long emotional progression with the hobby. After a cold-turkey hiatus, it's natural that you would feel detached.

    Allow yourself some breathing room. Retrace your steps from the beginning. Just paint some miniatures. Just enjoy that. If you feel like it, show them on the site and engage in some simple chats. Who knows where your steps will lead you this time around -- maybe back to videos, maybe somewhere totally different.
  4. Darklord's Avatar
    The geek is good and liked but it is isnt right it isnt right. Maybe if and when you feel up to it do one of your normal videos but for now just dip your toes back in the waters - when you feel like doing a video you will.
  5. Valander's Avatar
    I enjoyed your videos, but if you aren't enjoying doing them, then you shouldn't feel pressured into doing them. This hobby is supposed to be "fun," isn't it? So, shouldn't everything you do associated with the hobby also be fun?

    Sometimes we do find ourselves having to put aside our hobbies for whatever reasons, and it can often be hard to get back into it. I think it's important that you don't force it, though. If you force it, just to appease other people, you won't be happy yourself, and you'll quickly breed resentment towards the thing you used to love (this hobby).

    I wish you all the best, and hope that you can find the fun you once had again. If you choose to share it, then we'll all be grateful, but if you want to keep it to yourself, that's fine too.
  6. Hinton's Avatar
    Thank you for the kind words and advice, everyone.

    Definitely helps get things into perspective.

    Appreciate it!
  7. mule's Avatar
    Hey mate, I'd wondered where you'd gone, good to see that you've drifted back.
    Whilst I dont know anything about your situation, I can suggest that you're probably better off not trying to make things as they were before. Do something different, something that -in your mind/experience- is new and fresh.
    Get those creative juices flowing! and hopefully push a few boundaries along the way ;)
  8. MonkeyShaman's Avatar
    For what little I know about the RGM segments and your over all activities within the hobby it seems like the strength in your segment was that you were kind of the voice of reason in a hobby mostly made up of angry trolling nerds.
    As much fun it is to see ourselves in the mirror that the angry geek represent I also think you should listen to that keen observer voice that tells you that hes been exorcized.
    The review and report bit was apprechiated and for what its worth was an awesome service to the community, whatever format you choose in the future (these things kinda stick in the back of your head.) it will be again.